In this post we are going to talk a little about success and how and why do some people achieve it and some never actually do. There is a great difference between these two, and here is what successful people already know:
Success is Not a Destination, It is a Mindset
Let us explain. We have been taught to perceive success as some goal we want to achieve or some destination we have to get to. Which is wrong. Yes, for some of us being successful is:
- Getting married and starting a family.
- Having millions of dollars.
- Having a career we always wanted etc.
But is that really when you will feel successful? The answer is no, you won’t. The reality is, there is no treasure map that points X on a place called Success. And here is why: success isn’t a goal, it is your behavior leading up to reaching them. So what is the philosophy behind feeling successful?
Since we were kids we subconsciously learned to think about success and greatness, as something always ahead and far away from us. That includes the thought of those variables being something very hard to reach and something only a few get to experience in life. Therefore our brain tends to look for the path with least resistance and obstacles which we don’t have to invest a lot of time in jumping over. So how can we rewire our brain to perceive the obstacles as momentary challenges and opportunities in order to have a different mindset about success?
Understand that success is within you, not ahead of you
Your life and changes start when you step outside of your comfort zone. And no, that doesn’t mean you have to completely change who you are. Nobody can tell you what success means to you.
Let’s stop for a minute to think about these three. It is all milk and cookies when we read this somewhere but how can we actually put it to good use when there is one thing always stopping us: F-E-A-R. Fear is #1 cause of our mindset not being good enough in our eyes. It is engraved deep into our brain and into our past memories that it makes it hard to ignore.
As our brain is taught to always recognize danger, when we face a hard situation and we slowly start to panic, we tend to close off and view that situation as impossible. It is really not our fault, we have been taught to do so, subconsciously. So how can we imprint a brave new way of looking at success when we have this policeman telling us we can’t step across the line?
Learn to Put In The Work In Order to Succeed
There are no shortcuts. We spend out time looking at others in envy or daydreaming, wishing we would have their life, their muscles, their job, their relationships when in reality we can all have that, we are just afraid of one thing: failing at what we love. Fear of failure is so big it immediately paralyzes us and makes our brain find an excuse to why we don’t actually need or want that goal to become reality.
Example: ¨I will cancel the job interview because in reality someone’s cousin is gonna get that job anyway. It’s out of my reach. ¨
Self-sabotage is one of the most immobilizing forms and signs of fear of failure. It actually stops us from achieving what we want and there is no one else to blame but us. The truth is we have all been there and we have all experienced our own mind sabotaging its potential to succeed. So let’s turn on to the good thing!
Fact: Our Fear Depends On How We Look At It
At the beginning, we said that Success is a mindset. So since, fear and success are often entangled, Fear is also defined by how you perceive the picture. Life coaches around the world like to say: ¨You can’t see the picture if you are inside the frame.¨ What does that really mean for us?
We expect situations to change without us changing one thing about how we approach them. So we feel anxious, agitated and even hurt that we are in the eternal cycle of a life we want to escape from. By the law of nature, when there is a problem – there is always a solution.
Sadly sometimes the solution is not obvious to us, as it is within our subconsciousness. To let it out, we have to reach for it by having a new idea, looking outside of the box, thinking out of our comfort zone, etc. Bottom line:
We have to change the way we think!
- It’s important to realize that in everything we do, there’s always a chance that we can and often will, fail.
- Being successful does not exclude us failing.
So many successful people have failed 100 times, before they actually got it right. What makes them different is their mindset. It is never about the destination or the X on the map, it is about the whole way and knowing that once you achieve your goals you still keep going.
Walt Disney defined people’s way of thinking in three ways, as he was, of course, all of those.
- Dreamers – who have the whole universe of ideas and desires in their brains but are often daydreaming too much to get stuff done.
- Realists – who always look for what has been proven to work, re-testing and re- examining it all to be more practical to achieve.
- Critics – who will always see the bad before the good.
And in order to achieve what you imagined your mindset has to be all three. Currently, your fear is making you a critic, today’s world is making you be realistic, but your heart is wanting more. Your heart is wanting success to be a part of your everyday life.
Of course a lot of people will wonder is it even possible to change as a person, or even change your mindset. The answer is always YES if you put in the work.
5 Ways to Change Your Mindset
- Challenge yourself to a growth mindset
It is all about your perception and how you can learn to flip the negative into positive, skepticism into optimism, bad into the good. It is more than obvious that your current ideas need to expand and grow outside of what makes you comfortable in order to change the outcome of your actions. It is challenging the new rather than just doing your best with the cards you have been dealt. Along the way, you will always have obstacles put in your way, but look at them always as opportunities to grow and to learn. Go far and beyond, not only can you give 100% but you can give 150%. Challenge yourself to do better and to be better, is the mindset all successful people obtained before they could call themselves successful.
- Risk your current state for the unknown
There will come times in your life where you will have to let go of the helping hand and indulge yourself into an adventure of flying solo. Life coaches love to say that when you wish for new insights and you put your energy into the world, the world will give back by sending you that answer in a form of an idea. It will be up to you to accept it as it will not always be within of your comfort. Psychologists already know that conforming into a group comes from the need to fit in. But it is not the place where those winning ideas come from, as you will not want to exclude yourself from the safe place.
- Mistakes will happen. Deal with it.
Along the way, you will always have obstacles put in your way, but look at them always as opportunities to grow and to learn. Go far and beyond, not only can you give 100% but you can give 150%. Sure you will make a mistake, but instead of crying over spilled milk, learn from it and grow from it. Challenge yourself to do better and to be better, is the mindset all successful people obtained before they could call themselves successful.
- Trust your own intuition.
We have all experienced that gut feeling we were supposed to listen to but never really did because how right could it be. Facts and reality are often in collaboration with critics who try to cut your wings because they are not comfortable with your success. Your intuition is a strong feeling you can nurture to becoming spot on even you will feel amazed. As risk leads to good things, mistakes do happen, what is the worst that can happen with listening to your intuition?
- Celebrate the small achievements.
We easily step on ourselves when we make a mistake we forget all the little achievements. Don’t forget to pat your own back and celebrate when you feel like you accomplished something you want. You set those goals, you worked on them and you reached them. It is a huge deal! Good job!
Doing all this will increase one thing you will always need and welcome with open arms – positive energy. You may not be a person who believes in vibes or good flow of energy but your mind does. You will feel motivated to start new things, you will become hungry for more and you will enter new worlds without previous thought. All that is called mindset. So welcome it with open arms.